E equals ecstasy
by Bookjunk
Summary: On a hot summer day Vince, wet and with only his swimming trunks on, flops down on the couch next to E and E can't take it anymore.
1. Totally trippin'

**Chapter 1:**** Totally trippin'**

Leaving Turtle and Drama in the pool, Vince strolls inside. He has just taken a dip himself, but it is just too damn hot to sit outside. At least inside it is cool. He flops on the couch next to Eric, who immediately throws up his hands in protest.

'Watch it, you're getting the couch all wet.'

'My couch, E,' Vince says and grins.

'Fair enough. So, hot outside, huh?' Eric asks, looking at him.

'Fucking hot.'

'Yeah,' Eric responds in this unfamiliar, hoarse voice, but when Vince looks at him he is already watching television again. Nothing much is on, but they watch infomercials side by side for a while. Vince glances at Eric a few times and every time Eric is staring rigidly at the screen. Something weird is going on, because Eric hasn't moving an inch in at least 30 minutes and Vince can practically see the wires standing out in his neck. Dude is fucking tense and it is making him nervous.

'What is wrong, E?' he finally asks.

'Nothing is wrong,' Eric answers, but he does this thing where he is all wide eyed at the suggestion, but avoids his best friend's gaze. Vince is not fooled.

'Really? Because you seem to be shrinking before my eyes,' Vince counters and this time Eric does look at him. However, he breaks eye contact almost immediately and jokingly replies.

'Well, fuck you very much, Vince.'

'No, dude. I mean, are you worried about something? Because you seem like a bundle of nerves,' Vince asks again and cocks his eyebrow at Eric. His entire body language is geared towards reassuring Eric enough to get him to confide in Vince, but the effort is unsuccessful.

'I'm not tense,' he states and turns to the television again, apparently thinking the conversation is finished now. But Vince is bringing out The Voice. The Voice he always uses to tease Eric. It's light and loving, like a caress. It's all 'Hello, Vinnie Chase; male specimen extraordinaire here.' Come to think of it, The Voice is like a super-enhanced version of the voice Vince uses to sweet-talk girls. Damn, that is fucked up and now he is going to think about that and The Voice will be conspicuous as hell.

'Are you sure? Cause I could give you a backrub,' The Voice drawls and it's supposed to be fun. Like dangling a big, red, juice steak in front of Eric. In this scenario Eric would be a dog, because what else would Eric be? He's Vince's best friend and fiercely loyal. But this dog is all principled and vegetarian. So, Eric would laugh and roll his eyes. Except he doesn't.

'No. Fuck,' Eric yells and all but leaps of the couch, away from Vince's hands. Vince looks up at him, with this frown on his face, thinking that something must be seriously wrong for Eric to be so on edge.

'Relax, E, I was kidding. Did something happen? Did Ari call? Is the project...' Vince begins anxiously, but Eric cuts him off.

'Not everything is about you, Vince!'

Vince just sits there, stunned into silence. Eric takes a look at his face and immediately apologises and voices an intention to go outside and lie in the pool. Vince gets up and makes as if to follow him, but stops when he hears the strangled sigh of annoyance coming from Eric.

'On second thought I'll just go and lie down. I'm not feeling...' Eric says and he makes a vague gesture, which could mean there is something wrong with his head, arm, foot or, hell, even his dick, for all that Vince knows, 'Sorry about snapping at you.' Eric is still not meeting Vince's eyes.

'Doesn't matter, E. You just go and rest,' Vince replies good-naturedly, but he is not entirely convinced. Sure, Eric's behaviour is off and if he had not just nearly eviscerated Vince for simply asking a question Vince would have believed he might be coming down with something. Now; not so much. However, chicken broth has never hurt anyone, so he watched Eric retreat down the hall, and then went outside to ask Drama to prepare some of his famous get-well-soon soup.

(***)

Vince knocks twice before opening the door, bowl of steaming soup in his hand. What he is greeted with is the spectacle of Eric trying to switch of the television, but instead fumbling the remote, like it's an extra special episode of Football Follies. The remote ends up on the floor and Eric grins at him sheepishly.

'Real inconspicuous, E,' Vince deadpans. He closes the door behind him and puts the bowl on the nightstand. Ignoring Eric's skittish behaviour he sits down on the bed next to Eric.

'Just tell me what's wrong. You are really starting to freak me out,' he pleads and they stare into each other's eyes. With any other guy this would feel totally awkward, but as Eric eventually looks away all Vince feels is that Eric is going to tell him whatever it is that has been bothering him.

'Well, the thing is, for a while now, I've kind of, sort of, been thinking that I might be a bit, you know. Ah, fuck it. I am in love with you.'

And Eric looks relieved, but also scared, like this is going to change anything. Like they are suddenly not best friends anymore. Like Vince will stop loving him or some shit. So, Vince just calmly lets the information sink in before responding in his typical laidback fashion.

'Wow. So, how long's a while?' he asks and Eric stares at him. Perhaps it is not the reaction he expected. It takes him a while to compose himself.

'Well, let's just say that I don't know why I'm representing you, because I am a better actor than you are. I've been hiding this for forever,' Eric admits honestly. A joke, that's good, Vince thinks, but he senses that Eric is still a bit apprehensive.

'Forever?' Vince whispers and Eric nods.

'It was before we came to Hollywood. We were sitting on the couch with Drama and Turtle and I looked at you and thought, 'Man, I fucking love this guy.' Which was a stupid thing to think, because of course I love you. Like I love Drama and Turtle; pathetic losers they may be. But I realised then that it was different with you somehow. I loved you like more than a friend,' Eric explains and he is studying the floor meticulously.

'So, what changed? I mean, you've been pretending for so long: what tripped you up today?'

Eric has this little smile tugging at his lips, but it never really materialises and he stares into his lap, suddenly embarrassed.

'You being a sexy fucker,' he mumbles and Vince smiles. Once he sees Vince smiling Eric allows himself to smile too.

'That I am,' Vince agrees, all mock-smug. Eric laughs and then shakes his head. Vince watches while Eric thoroughly musses his hair by raking his hand through it. Eric still has an incredulous expression plastered on his face.

'I cannot believe we are having this conversation,' Eric says and Vince has to agree with him there. They share a brief laugh and then Vince leans towards Eric.

'I'm kind of ashamed that you felt you needed to keep this from me for so long. What did you think I would do? Hate you?' Vince asks and Eric swats that thought away as he gets up from the bed.

'Not that. I mean, we all like Lloyd and he's gay, so I figured you'd be ok with me being bisexual. It's just that I'm not just bisexual; I'm in love with you. Being the object of my affection, I thought that might be a little too much to take,' Eric explains and Vince nods, seeing the logic in this.

'Well, I can't say I feel the same way about you, sorry E, but it's certainly not a problem for me. It's rather flattering, in fact. Is it going to be a problem for you? I promise I'll try to be less sexy. It will be hard, but I'll try. Keeping my shirt on at all times and stuff like that.'

Eric bursts out laughing and Vince gets off from the bed and hugs him. The hug lingers on a bit too long for Vince's comfort and he pulls away, hiding his awkwardness by smiling. However, Eric immediately picks up on Vince's discomfort and bumps his fist into Vince's shoulder.

'Dude relax, just a friendly hug. I know you're not interested,' Eric says and he smiles genuinely at Vince. Vince's fist-bumps his shoulder in return, appreciating the effort. Telling Vince to go ahead and head to the pool while he eats the soup, Eric stays behind and sits on the bed. Vince starts to leave the room, but in the doorway he pauses to turn around and sees the sadness in his friend's eyes.


	2. Fried

**Chapter 2: ****Fried**

'So, you're gay now?'

'Drama!'

After a few days Eric had decided to tell Drama and Turtle too, because Vince's reaction had been much better than he had expected and Eric was just a bad liar. That whole spiel about how good an actor he had been was bullshit, because he couldn't even count the times over the years when he had come close to confessing to Vince or anyone how he felt. He was pretty sure it wasn't as many times as he had almost kissed Vince, though. Anyway, after dinner he had started out slowly by telling them that he had been having feelings for guys and that was when Johnny had burst in with his question and Turtle had scolded him for it.

'What?' Johnny said, perplexed at Turtle's reaction, 'That is a legitimate question. I knew this was the wrong time to start my juice regiment. Now I'll be even more attractive.'

Eric and Vince smiled at each other, which, despite being busy laughing at Johnny, Turtle picked up on. With a knowing smirk on his face he proceeded to mock Johnny.

'When were you ever attractive? No really, when?' Turtle asked, attempting to sound serious, but cracking up nonetheless. The object of his scorn didn't even deign to look at him and merely told him to shut up, while he gathered the ingredients for one of his juices. Turtle sighed, looking at the strawberries and oranges and milk and some increasingly vague and suspect ingredients.

'Your juice regiment? You mean getting up at 4 a.m. to drink shit?' Turtle continued, knowing that regardless of Johnny's unaffected exterior he was getting a rise out of him. Again Johnny pursed his lips and stared at Turtle with disdain. The little headshake of you-obviously-have-no-idea-what-the-hell-you-are-talking-about was performed to perfection by Johnny. He punctuated the movement by slicing the last of the oranges in half.

'You won't be laughing once I have purged my entire body of toxins. I'll be gorgeous. E won't be able to resist me,' Johnny smugly stated and Turtle suffered another fit of laughter. Johnny's brother had quickly turned away and was trying to compose his face, while Eric just stood there with an amused look on his face. Having managed to control his features, Vince turned around to find that familiar expression on Johnny's face. It was the expression they had all come to dread. It spoke volumes, even when Johnny didn't say anything, about how Johnny thought he was never good enough. Vince opened his mouth to say something, anything, to wipe that expression from Johnny's face, but Eric beat him to it.

'Drama, I would be all over you if I wasn't already in love with someone else,' Eric said and winked at Johnny, which slightly freaked Vince out. It was all going a bit fast. Eric was bisexual and in love with him and he was fine with it – really, he was – and Drama and Turtle were fine with it and now his best friend was winking at his brother. Just... too fast, too much.

'I knew you would be,' Johnny answered, slowly starting to grin again. He mouthed 'I told you so' at Turtle, but Turtle missed it, because he was looking at Vince and Eric. He knows, Vince realised, but for once Turtle wisely kept his mouth shut.

'I'm just the same, only now I have a spot soft for a guy,' Eric added and he had to exert all his self-discipline to not look at Vince when he said that. Turtle was smiling stupidly and Eric cursed himself silently. It was clear that Turtle knew who this elusive guy was. All Eric could do was hope that Turtle would shut the hell up about it.

'Don't you mean a hard spot?' Vince asked and Turtle hooted as Eric began to blush furiously.

(***)

Later that evening.

It was ten p.m. and Vince was getting bored. Johnny had just gone to bed; something about sleep helping the body to shed the toxins faster, and Eric was out. There was nothing on television except infomercials and honestly, those were only fun to watch together with Eric. They would mock the infomercials; the ridiculous claims of weight loss or muscle building and all Eric had to do was snort at one of them to get Vince convulsed with laughter. He was just about to give up and try to go and fall asleep too, which he knew wasn't going to wash, because it was still light out and still so fucking hot, when Turtle wandered into the living room. His eyes were already glazy and he was carrying a baggie of weed and a lighted joint.

'Doyouwantonetoo?' Turtle garbled as he sagged into the chair opposite from Vince. Relieved he wasn't going to be tossing and turning in bed, yet, Vince nodded and rolled a joint. A little while later Vince was ready to admit the real reason he couldn't sleep. Every night he would lie awake and think about what Eric had said. His best friend loved him. It was flattering and creepy at the same time. He was trying really hard to pretend nothing had changed, but of course things had changed and Eric was noticing that Vince was acting differently. Pushing all thoughts of Eric away, Vince decided that he would write down all the things he would come up with. Often during smoking he would have some great ideas, but afterwards he could never remember them, so this time he would write them down.

He told Turtle of his plan, but all Turtle did was take another drag and nod listlessly. Over the next two hours Vince made a little list of worthwhile ideas. When he discovered he could barely hold either pen or joint anymore, Vince got up and walked towards his bedroom. On the way he heard the front door and saw Eric come in.

'Hi E,' Vince whispered sexily. Why was he doing that? He hadn't meant to whisper all sexily. Damn it! Why was he so sexy? Eric stared at him strangely.

'Been smoking, huh?' Eric whispered. That was sexy too. E had whispered at him, seductively, sultry, sweetly, sexily. E wanted him. And he... Or was he making this up? Had E really sounded sexy? E was sexy.

'Goodnight Vince.'

'Goodnight E.'

Eric tentatively sidestepped Vince and Vince made his way to his bedroom, where, at least tonight, he had no trouble sleeping.

(***)

Later that night.

'Vince, wake up.'

Groggily, and with immense effort, Vince managed to rouse himself from sleep. What he found was Johnny hovering over him and Turtle standing dazed in his bedroom. What he also found was that he was having a little trouble breathing, because of all the smoke. Turtle threw up in a corner of the room and started coughing.

'Stupid idiot left a joint burning in the living room. I woke up to drink my juice and half the house is on fire,' Johnny explained angrily. Vince was not processing this fast enough, apparently, because next thing he knew his brother had hauled him out of bed and was shoving him and Turtle out of the room. The smoke was everywhere. It was hurting his eyes and constricting his throat and he couldn't see a fucking thing. Fortunately, Johnny appeared to know where they should go and he was alternately pushing and dragging Vince and Turtle with him. And just like that they were outside.

Turtle collapsed on the front lawn and threw up again, but Johnny was merciless and yanked both of them further away from the house. The house was fucked; Vince could see that. Smoke was pouring from every window and in the back the flames were devouring the roof. When Johnny had just finished calling the emergency services and neighbours started to come out of their houses to watch Vince realised something horrible.

'Where is E?' he asked, and suddenly he felt like he really couldn't breathe. Johnny just glanced at him, seemingly not comprehending his question and Turtle looked green with nausea.

'I'm here. Thanks for coming to get me by the way, you fuckers,' Eric said, appearing from the left and Vince heaved a huge sigh of relief, which got him coughing. In the distance Vince could hear the sirens. He couldn't think clearly and wasn't sure whether it was due to the panic or the smoke inhalation or the drugs. Eric said he had left the house from the back and now Vince noticed he was dripping with water and that there were scorch mark on his shirt. Apologetic, Johnny insisted that he didn't know Eric had been in the house. Eric looked at Vince and shrugged at Johnny's explanation.

'My shirt caught fire, so I jumped in the pool,' Eric calmly stated as Turtle started to dry heave on his hands and knees. Eric was still looking at Vince, who felt a pain in his chest. He had known; he should have done something. The lights of the ambulance and fire engine were darting across the lawn and across Eric's ruined shirt. The house was now entirely ablaze. The paramedics were rushing to them and Johnny assured them he was fine and directed them to Turtle. Guiltily, Vince pointed one of the paramedics to Eric, but Eric didn't seem to be in any pain. He seemed resigned. Turtle had to be taken to the hospital, to be treated for smoke inhalation. Vince was coughing too and Johnny urged him to ride with Turtle, so they could properly check him out at the hospital too. For a moment Vince wanted to protest that he wanted to stay with Eric as he caught a glimpse of the burns on Eric's back, but he thought better of it. The house was emitting a fierce heat, but throughout all of this Eric had never taken his eyes off of Vince and Vince felt the coldness of his gaze.


	3. Don't be such a pill

**Chapter 3: ****Don't be such a pill**

Ari picked them up from the hospital and drove them his house. He had insisted they stay at his house for the remainder of the night. Apparently it would be considered strange to show up at a hotel or motel in the middle of the night in only your boxers and shirts, looking like you've just survived a disaster and carrying no luggage except for a jar of burn ointment. Vince was grateful for the offer, though, knowing Ari, it was probably half motivated by genuine concern and half by thoughts of publicity and damage control. Briefly, Vince wondered about the drugs, whether they would be lucky and the house would be so thoroughly destroyed that nothing would be found. At the hospital, greedily inhaling oxygen and eyeing the nurses, Turtle had claimed he had left a cigarette burning, instead of a joint. The officer taking his statement had not seemed entirely convinced, noting Turtle's dilated pupils, but he had taken Turtle's words down without comment.

'Boys, are you alright?' Mrs. Ari asked, meeting them outside. She looked worried as she ushered them inside, asking them to be quiet because of the kids, and Johnny answered for them all by nodding grimly. Turtle was still sporting an unhealthy green hue, but Vince felt comforted by the doctor's assurance that the smoke inhalation had caused no lasting damage. Speaking of lasting damage, Eric continued to stare at him, but had refused to talk to him at the hospital and the drive over. And just now, when Vince had glanced at Mrs. Ari, because he couldn't help seeing she was hot, (this realisation always made him feel slightly uncomfortable) Eric had looked mightily pissed off. After Eric had protested about being put in a room with Vince, without actually speaking to Vince – and he would just have to suck it up, since Turtle was a notorious snorer and Johnny happened to have his earplugs still on him – Mrs Ari took Turtle and Johnny to their room. Noticing the tension, Ari urged them to sit down on the couch without even bothering to worry about the upholstery or some such stupid shit. This was just as well, because if he had said anything besides 'sit down' either Vince or Eric would probably have torn right into him. Mumbling about extra pillows and blankets Ari left the room.

'What the fuck is your problem?' Vince asked in a hushed voice and Eric levelled that cold gaze of his at him again.

'You left me in a burning house!' he angrily whispered.

'I was stoned; I'd forgotten...' Vince retorted, but Eric just snickered at his reply.

'You've been treating me differently lately. It just took tonight for me to see how much our friendship has changed exactly,' Eric whispered. Vince didn't even know what to say to that. Half of it was true at least. He had been treating Eric differently, but that was normal, right? It was a lot to deal with to hear your best friend was bisexual and had a thing for you. All Vince had been trying to do was adjust to the new situation. He hadn't meant to hurt Eric. But...

'You think I left you in the house on purpose?' Vince asked quietly and all the anger was gone from his voice. Eric immediately picked up on the change and seemed to rein his fury in too. What followed was a long, thoughtful silence wherein Eric attempted to reconcile the Vince he loved with his accusation and Vince just stared at him.

'I don't... No. But I can't help but think that before I fucking said anything to you you would have done something,' Eric admitted and he looked sad. To see Eric like this, literally wounded and hurt, all Vince wanted to do was wrap his arms around him and tell him that everything was going to be ok. Just 'there, there' him and pat him on the back, which was perhaps not the best course of action, considering the burns on Eric's back. Also, Vince felt an unfamiliar twinge regarding Eric in his stomach and he didn't know what the hell it meant.

'E...'

'Forget I said anything. Let's just go to sleep,' Eric said as Ari came back carrying pillows and blankets. Ari must have been more distraught than Vince gave him credit for because the blankets were winter blankets and they would burn up under those things. Vince told him that much, and then cursed at his unfortunate choice of words. Ari quickly replaced the blankets with lighter ones and guided them to the room they would have to share. Vince made the bed for Eric and then gestured for Ari to wait. Out of practice, and thus sloppily, he prepared his own sleeping place on the floor, while Eric crept under the blanket on the bed. Hearing Eric's regular breathing he closed the door behind him and joined Ari in the hallway.

'Turtle will be fine and I'm sure that E will recover too,' Vince reassured Ari. His agent tried to smother a sigh of relief under a quiet chuckle.

'Just worried about my cash cow,' Ari grinned. Yawning, Ari told him that their room had an adjoining bathroom and they could use that whenever. There were towels in there and a medicine cabinet with bandages and everything. Vince thanked him and said goodnight. With his hand on the doorknob, Vince paused and slowly inhaled and exhaled before turning it and entering the room. The curtains were drawn, but the early morning light was already seeping in. The light filtered through the curtain and it cast a beam over the bed and Eric. They should probably have showered before retiring, and Vince felt bad for all the sheets and pillow cases and blankets that would be ruined because of this, but they were all so tired. He was, at least. Eric's hair was matted with soot, and there were dark smudges on his face too. Vince could only imagine what his back looked like. The doctor had said that Eric had been right to jump into the pool when he did and that the burns were superficial, but Vince bet those burns fucking hurt nonetheless.

For the second time that night he said goodbye to Eric. As he settled down on the floor he sounded a bit crispy, but hopefully that was just his clothes.

(***)

Waking up, Vince had an eerie and altogether unpleasant memory of waking up earlier that day and finding Johnny standing over him and the house on fire. His eyes quickly adjusted to the light, which was now barely contained by the curtains, and he sought out Eric immediately. Eric's breathing was still regular. Sometime during the night he had kicked the blanket away and he was now uncovered except for his boxers and tattered shirt. His back was to Vince and the shirt had ridden up to reveal the bandages. Vince got up, making the requisite noises; yawning loudly while he stretched, but Eric slept steadily on. Wearily, Vince approached him. His hand reached out, but he stopped himself. Eric continued his light breathing and Vince extended his hand again. Hesitating once more, he eventually touched Eric carefully. He waited a few seconds to make sure Eric didn't wake up, before softly tracing the smooth skin around the bandages.

'Vince?'

Vince jumped back and stood there trying to not look guilty. What the hell had he been doing? Groaning in pain, Eric turned onto his other side and tried to sit up straight. Vince watched him worriedly and extended his hand to help, but Eric batted it away.

'What time is it?' Eric asked in a throaty voice, as he wiped the sleep out of his eyes. Without any warning Vince felt that unfamiliar twinge again and it twisted his stomach into a knot. He was remembering something about the night before. Something to do with talking and how things sounded. With a jolt he remembered: he had thought E was sexy.

'It's, um, half past twelve,' Vince stammered. Uttering another groan, Eric got up from the bed and wandered into the bathroom. After a minute, during which he had been unaware of listening, Eric called out for Vince. Vince was reluctant to go into the bathroom, so he yelled back.

'Yes?'

'Come here,' Eric called and Vince hoped Ari's kids had already been up, because otherwise they sure as hell were now. He stepped into the bathroom. Eric was surveying his appearance in the mirror, wiping at the smudges on his face and tugging at his hair with distaste. He turned around as Vince entered.

'I'd like to take a shower,' Eric said and suddenly Vince was having pornographic visions of Eric and himself in the shower. The images were lurid and not sexy at all, which surprised Vince. And then his surprise surprised him. Had he thought showering with Eric would be sexy? As far as he knew he had never thought about this. Vince gulped. Eric was making weird gestures and sighed when Vince stared at him uncomprehendingly.

'I can't take off my shirt myself. It hurts too much,' Eric explained and winced as he raised his arms.

'Look if you don't want to do this, I'll ask someone else,' Eric said sharply, but Vince was already in front of him and moving closer. Gently, he pulled the shirt over Eric's head and arms. He dropped the shirt on the floor and beckoned Eric to turn around. Before Eric could protest Vince lowered himself until his face was level with Eric's back and started to peel away the bandages with the utmost care. There were three small ones on Eric's upper back, Vince took those off first. They stuck to Eric's skin, but with a little prodding, and not too much pain involved, they came loose fairly quickly. Vince looked at the red and tender patches of skin. It was still shiny with the ointment the doctor had applied. The skin looked painfully raw. Deliberately tearing his eyes away, Vince started on the big bandage on Eric's lower back. This must have been where his shirt caught fire first. It was a long, broad horizontal bandage. Vince loosened all the edges first, and then slowly tried to remove the bandage from left to right. In the middle, the bandage provided the most resistance, seeming to have almost glued itself to the skin, but eventually Vince separated the two and dropped the bandage in the waste basket.

'Fuck,' Eric whispered. Though Eric tried to wipe them away before he turned around, Vince could see the tracks his tears had made across his cheeks through the soot. Had Vince been the melodramatic type he would have characterised the feeling he experienced at the sight of Eric crying as breaking his fucking heart. Instead, however, Vince just felt mad at himself for not remembering Eric was in the house, for not doing anything to help him. It was his fault that Eric was in pain.

'I'm sorry, E,' he said and then he left the bathroom. He could hear the shower being turned on and then the sound of the water beating down on something. He tried very hard not to think about what the stream was hitting, because if he did he would either cry or trash the room and neither would be particularly appropriate or helpful at the moment. So, he decided to do something else entirely useless and made the bed. On the nightstand Eric's jar of burn ointment stood. Vince read the instructions and was dismayed to discover that it should be applied every four hours. They had been at the hospital around six a.m. and it was now almost one p.m.

As Eric emerged out of the bathroom he looked a lot better, but Vince reminded himself practically that this was probably because Vince couldn't see his back. With a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair still slightly wet and sticking up and his face free of soot, Eric looked a little lost. When he noticed the jar in Vince's hand he shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

'This needs to be applied every four hours,' Vince said and Eric just looked at the door. He was almost apologetic about his awkwardness. A remarkable departure from his pre-shower aggressiveness.

'I'm sure either Drama or Turtle could help me. Or maybe Ari's wife...'

'E?'

'Yes?'

'Shut up and lie down.'

Eric did as he was told and lay face down on the bed. He discretely draped the towel, so nothing untoward would show and Vince smiled at the absurdity of it. How many times had they seen each other naked anyway? And now Eric was being shy? But then he looked at the burns marking his friend's back and his smile faded. The burns were still wet, probably because it would have hurt too much to rub them dry and they were even redder than before. Vince took a fresh supply of bandages out of the medicine cabinet and the softest towel he could find from the bathroom and kneeled next to the bed. He made an alarming, crispy sound while doing so, which only strengthened his resolve to get rid of his clothes as soon as possible. Very carefully he dabbed the burns dry and applied a thick layer of cream to each one of them. Everything was so weird between them now that even these small, measured touches made Vince feel like he was doing something other than caring for a friend. He then, as best as he could, bandaged the burns again. While he was doing so, to keep his mind from dwelling to long on Eric's burns and the pain they must be causing him, he debated amongst himself whether the bandages were actually bandages or whether they were called dressings.

'Thank you,' Eric said. Vince just nodded and went into the bathroom. He practically tore of his clothes and turned the water on. Adjusting the temperature to what could be described at the minimum as uncomfortably hot, he stepped into the shower. The bathroom quickly filled with steam and after a pounding of five full minutes Vince scraped himself dry until his skin was almost as red as Eric's burns. As he took another towel to wrap around his waist he noticed something poking out from between his clothes. When he stooped to pick it up he remembered. It was the list he had made while stoned. He must have tucked it inside the waistband of his boxers that night. _That night._ He made it sound as if it was a lifetime ago, when it was just yesterday night. Hell, it was today.

Amazing to think that piece of paper had survived all that. Smoking with Turtle, sleeping for a few hours, being dragged out of a burning house, driving in the ambulance, and the waiting and walking around at the hospital and the ride to Ari's and again sleeping. It did look a little the worse for wear, but it was intact. Vince unfolded it and read it. And read it. And read it again. Finally, when he had satisfied himself to the extent that he believed that he had written that, he exited the bathroom.

'E, I think you need to see this.'


	4. Vince cracks

**Chapter 4: ****Vince cracks**

'What is it?' Eric asked and Vince hesitantly handed him the list. It was hot. The door was closed, the window was closed and the bathroom was a sauna in itself, so Vince didn't think opening that door would help. Plus, if they were going to talk about the list he didn't want anyone to overhear, so he wasn't going to open anything. The heat made you wish you were lying in a bathtub full of ice cubes, even if it meant shady people were going to steal your kidney. Yes, it was _that_ hot.

'It's a list I made of things I'd like to do. I made it yesterday, stoned and all,' Vince explained and Eric started reading.

Star in a romantic comedy.

Sign up for a workshop on how to make candles.

At this point, Eric burst out laughing and made eye contact with Vince. 'What the hell?' he mouthed, before reading on.

Look up whether there is a Guinness Book Record for the biggest joint and break it. And smoke it. The joint, not the record.

Get rich by collect rare and valuable stamps.

Kiss E. I bet that would be fucking awesome.

Vince was paying close attention to Eric and when Eric reached the last item on the list, his eyes widened in surprise. He handed the list back to Vince who folded it before laying it on the nightstand. Eric groaned again as he sat down on the bed and Vince remained standing in front of him. Their respective positions were rather awkward, since Eric would now basically be staring straight at Vince's crotch if he looked ahead. Nonetheless, Vince felt that he couldn't sit down on the bed, so he merely stepped a little to the side. And there was still a towel between Eric's gaze and his...nether regions. Vince smiled. What was he thinking about anyway? What was Eric thinking about?

'That's quite a list you've got there,' Eric said and he swallowed audibly. He folded his hands in his lap and then thought better of it and put them beside him on the bed. He was gripping the mattress something fierce, Vince noticed.

'Yeah, two of those ideas are just downright scary,' Vince admitted and Eric's head snapped up to look at Vince.

'And which ones might that be?' Eric asked and Vince didn't want to analyse what was happening. As much as Eric was looking at him and perhaps thinking that Vince knew where this conversation was going to lead; Vince realised he had no fucking idea whatsoever. So, he just ploughed ahead, joking and trying for as long as possible to skirt the actual subject.

'Well, there is the romantic comedy idea, which is insane,' Vince said. That was true, at least. Eric laughed softly and a bit of the tension disappeared.

'You fucking hate romantic comedies.'

'I know. Also, I have honestly never felt the desire to learn how to make candles,' Vince added and the tension came back in full force. The heat was unbearable. Eric was watching his own knuckles turning white and Vince suddenly became aware that he was flexing his abdominal muscles. Tightening and loosening them, hard, soft. Luckily, Eric wasn't looking at the spectacle he was presenting. Regardless, Vince decided he really needed to work out more, because this shit was pathetic. When Eric finally looked at him, Vince had his muscles under control again.

'Those are the scary ones?' Eric stated. It wasn't really a question, yet there was a definite question mark at the end. Like Eric couldn't believe what he had just heard Vince say. Like Eric wanted him to repeat that Vince didn't think that kissing Eric was a scary idea. This was not something Vince could do, because it was scary. Just not in the way Eric intended.

'Yes. I think collecting stamps would probably the most boring hobby ever, but the getting rich part is good and smoking the world's biggest joint is actually a great idea,' Vince agreed. Was it really this hot? Yes, it was. Beads of sweat were running down... well, they were running down his entire body. The colour was returning to Eric's knuckles and Vince was resisting the urge to flex some other ridiculous muscle. They had discussed the first four items on the list now and those really hadn't mattered to begin with. Now they either had to talk about the last one or just shut up about it forever. Honestly, Vince didn't know what he wanted at this point.

'So, what about the last one?' Eric finally asked.

'Well, that one is also a bit disturbing, though not in the same way as maybe doing romantic comedies. Obviously, I was pretty out of it when I wrote some of that shit. Because I might someday in the future decide that it would be important to be able to make my own candles, but starring in a romantic comedy? That is never going to happen. And number five...' Vince stalled.

'Yeah?' Eric asked.

Before answering Eric's soft spoken plea Vince glanced at Eric. He had hopeful eyes, which just about kills Vince. Could he really do this? This was Eric, not some girl. This was his best friend and he would hate himself if he fucked this up. On the other hand, he would hate himself too if he didn't try. So, here goes...

'The reason that one is disturbing is because a couple of days ago when you told me how you felt I said that I didn't feel the same. And the last item shows that maybe I do feel the same. Kiss me, E.'

'What?'

E looked bewildered. Vince felt bewildered.

'I know I love you, I've always loved you. Like a friend. I just don't know whether I want you in that way,' Vince clarified. Eric stiffly got up from the bed. Their towels touched and Eric slowly and deliberately raised his hands and cupped Vince's face. His hands were surprisingly cool. Vince's eyes were bouncing from Eric's eyes to Eric's lips. Thoughts were racing through his head at lightning speed. E is sexy. He has pretty eyes, no, he has beautiful eyes. His best friend is handsome and Vince finds him attractive. _Attractive_. What was wrong with him that he had never noticed this before? It was like a blind spot. Also, Vince was thinking: kiss me already.

Carefully, Eric pressed a tender kiss on Vince's lips. Vince felt that twinge again, the twinge concerning Eric that was quickly becoming familiar. He thought he could confidently indentify it now. It was over in a second, but left them both oddly shaken.

'That didn't feel right,' Vince said and he watched Eric's face fall, 'I thought it was a bit tame.'

Eric's mouth was still busy turning into a smile when Vince leaned in and kissed him passionately. His tongue parted Eric's lips and darted inside. His hands grabbed Eric's hips and pulled him closer. Eric moaned and Vince stopped short, until he realised it wasn't a moan born out of pain. His own stomach was hurting, the twinge twisting the hell out of it. It was pure, unadulterated lust. Lust he felt for his best friend. Vince knew all about lust. But he had never thought it could hurt. Love hurt, not lust. Yet, here it was and it was rough. It was all consuming and desperate and insatiable. It was like a fire, raging inside of him. It wanted more and more and more. More of E. Vince smashed his lips into Eric's again and had to restrain himself from clutching at Eric's back. Burns, he reminded himself. Actual physical pain, he told himself. Eric's lips were soft and willing, his skin hot and sweaty and supple and Vince thought that if he didn't pull away right now he would fuck him on the spot. Reluctantly, he tore himself away from E.

'So?' Eric asked, breathily and Vince laughed, because what else was there to do? It wasn't a question. It was the only thing he longed for. He took a quick step back, trembling with desire. He fucking needed E. He needed to fuck E.

'Oh, I want you.'


	5. Let's Slow Down

**Chapter 5: Let's Slow Down**

'You want me?` Eric asked, but before he could move a muscle Vince had again captured him in a violent embrace. They were kissing frantically and feverishly and pretty much everything that started with an f, except the one thing Vince most wanted to do and it was fucking frustrating. They were so wrapped up in each other that they didn't even hear the discreet knocking, which lasted for about a minute before the door cautiously opened. Vince happened to be the one facing the door, so he saw Lloyd peek in and kind of reel at what he was seeing. Immediately, Vince staggered away from Eric.

´Lloyd, hi, couldn't you have, you know, knocked?' Vince sputtered and without thinking about what he was doing he wiped his mouth with his fingers. Naturally, Eric noticed that and his eyes narrowed to slits. Shit, Vince thought, is that how it is going to be from now on? Would he have to watch his every word and move for fear of either hurting or pissing off Eric?

'I did knock, but I guess you guys were busy,' Lloyd said and he winked slyly at Eric. Eric laughed awkwardly while rubbing his neck. At least he has the grace to be embarrassed too, Vince thought, but this did not dispel his weariness. He was not looking forward to a lifetime of gay jokes and double entendres and ambiguousness. Not at all.

'So, you two finally found each other,' Lloyd said next and this prompted both Eric and Vince to stare at him. It was like Lloyd actually thought they were starring in a fucking romantic comedy, where the two best friends have been in love and pining for each other for ages, until they finally realise what feel. Then of course one of their other friends knew this all along and makes some such comment. Except Vince would not star in a romantic comedy even if it was the last film on earth and yes, Eric had been pining, but he definitely had not. This was a complete surprise to him. Well, not the lust, but the magnitude of it.

'Yes, I guess we have,' Vince said and Eric nodded. Best not to object to Lloyd's statement, Vince decided. Let's just go with it. For now.

(***)

One week since the fire.

'I could be on top,' Eric protested, but Vince shook his head.

'Like I would be bottom,' he joked, but Eric wasn't laughing. Vince wasn't laughing either. No one was laughing. Why? It was not funny. Nor was it true. Vince would be bottom. He shuddered as he realised he would love being bottom. He wanted E inside of him. _That_ would be fucking awesome. Probably also awesome fucking. Fucking: it was all he could think about. It honestly did not matter to him who would be bottom or top or whatever. He just wanted to fuck Eric or be fucked by Eric. Vince strayed out of Eric's grasp and over to the stereo. The hotel had a rather good sound system and the staff had brought over a couple of CDs because Eric couldn't stand listening to the radio. He always said there were more talk shows, commercials or news bulletins on there than music.

'I don't want to hurt you, E,' Vince said and Eric knew the conversation was closed. Just like that. When he kissed Eric, Vince never would have thought that this would become their problem. This problem would ruin the first stage of their relationship. Vince had fretted about the reaction of Turtle and Johnny, but they didn't mind. They were happy for them. Vince worried about Ari, about publicity and whatnot, but Ari had reacted a bit like Lloyd. If you couldn't even count on Ari to freak out then what was there to be sure about anymore? He had even been anxious about the reaction of the people at the hotel if they saw Eric and him kissing. Nobody cared.

Randomly, he picked a CD and popped it in.

'Is this alright?' he asked, still keeping the distance between Eric and him.

'It's the Beatles. Who doesn't like the Beatles?' Eric answered and he sounded annoyed. He immediately contradicted himself by complaining how much he hated this album.

'It's got Strawberry Fields. John Lennon said it was one of his favourite songs,' Vince tried to appease him, but Eric was not about to forgo his anger.

'I don't give a shit about what John Lennon said. The song sucks, the album blows,' Eric said. Vince turned off the stereo and walked over to the window. He stared outside.

'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds; now that's a nice song,' Eric mumbled. Get it tomorrow, Vince decided. He could do that much. But he really couldn't have sex with Eric and Eric's back was going to heal soon and then he was going to have to tell him the reason.

(***)

Two weeks since the fire.

'You sure you even want to?' Eric asked and Vince turned around quickly.

'Of course I want to,' he responded, 'I just...'

'You don't want to hurt me, I know,' Eric repeated and he sounded unconvinced.

'Let me look at your back. As soon as the burns have healed we will, I promise,' Vince said. Liar. Lying Liar. Eric lifted his shirt and lay down on his stomach. Vince's hands had been tingling with the desire to touch Eric's skin for weeks. Now he had a perfectly legitimate reason for doing so. He came closer and could feel his cock stiffen. Eric was squirming to get into a more comfortable position.

'Lay still, dude,' Vince whispered and he held his hands at his sides. He longed to give in to the temptation to stroke and caress and kiss Eric's back, but managed to resist and merely patted him on his shoulder.

'It looks good,' he told Eric and then he looked away not to see the hurt look on Eric's face. It pained Vince that it could cross Eric's mind that he didn't want to have sex. He wanted it too much; that was the problem. It scared him how much he wanted to.

(***)

Three weeks since the fire.

'Let's slow down. We've only been together for three weeks,' Vince pleaded. What the fuck? He was pleading now. Pleading not to have sex.

'I'm so tired of this Vince. My back is better. I want to,' Eric said and he sighed, 'When have you ever waited this long to have sex with a girl?'

Vince smiled, because he knew what his friend was thinking, but Eric caught his smile.

'Is that funny? Does the gayness amuse you? Why don't you just tell me if you don't want to have sex?' Eric yelled and Vince's smile faded instantly. The situation was not amusing, but it was completely Vince's own fault. He had lied to Eric from the start and he needed to tell him the truth.

'It is not the sex, E,' Vince began and Eric snorted derisively, 'No really, it isn't. I'm not inexperienced in that area.'

Eric opened his mouth, but then closed it again, as the meaning of Vince's words sank in. It was insane. Here Eric was who was madly in love with him and he was a virgin in a way. And then there was Vince, who'd had sex with a couple of guys before, but who had not thought he could ever love a man.

'So, it's not the gayness that disturbs me. I want to fuck you,' Vince admitted and stupidly he thought that the whole matter was resolved now. You idiot, he scolded himself, how can it be? Sex was never his issue. Still he approached Eric, but when he tried to kiss him, Eric pushed him away harshly.

'We've already established that we're sexually attracted to each other. I'm not interested in that. I didn't confess to wanting to fuck you, I confessed I was in love with you. You clearly don't feel the same way, so let's just forget about it,' Eric said and Vince realised that he had been so busy kidding himself that he had forgotten to kid Eric. Eric knew sex was not the problem and it wasn't Eric's problem either.

'E...'

'No. You can't even say you love me without adding it's only as a friend. And by the way, it _is_ the gayness that disturbs you. It's about who you love, not who you fuck,' Eric concluded angrily and left the hotel room. Calmly, he closed the door, leaving Vince behind to contemplate everything that had gone wrong. Love: that was exactly why Vince couldn't have sex with Eric. Vince felt so much lust that he doubted there was room for love.


	6. Love and other drugs

**Chapter 6: ****Love and other drugs**

'Where's your shorter half?'

Instead of answering Vince sank into the sofa in Ari's office. He was feeling particularly miserable, which was logical. It was of little importance that he would now never have sex with Eric compared to the disturbing truth that he had utterly fucked up the relationship with his best friend. Still, the depth of his misery amazed him. It was like the lust thing all over again. He was still experiencing stupid twinges of that periodically. It made him doubt he had ever fully lived and experienced things. He had always thought he was just naturally laidback and that this was why most things affected him so little. Vince was in that aspect the opposite of Johnny who had since they were kids displayed the dubious gift of taking everything as a personal affront.

Doesn't get a part in a film? Personal. Turtle makes a stupid comment about his hair? Personal. Out of toilet paper? Personal. Johnny's antics had amused Vince and made him feel normal, but perhaps he was just too detached. Until now. He was so wrapped up in the strong emotions that were so unfamiliar to him that he had forgotten Ari had asked him a question. Hell, he had forgotten about Ari, until he looked up to see Ari staring at him.

'Vince, is something wrong?'

Suddenly, Vince felt like laughing. He could not talk about this with Ari. He could not talk about this with Turtle or Johnny. And he certainly could not talk about this with Eric. Cue a twinge. Cut it out, you are not allowed to miss Eric, he berated himself.

'Where is Eric?'

It was a mystery to Vince why Ari was still talking, but he decided to be kind and answer the question.

'I don't fucking know,' he said and when this earned him a questioning glance from Ari, 'Eric and I kind of broke up.' Well, didn't that just sound ridiculous? They didn't even actually break up, since Vince had not been in the relationship to begin with. The physical side was fine until it wasn't, but the romantic part of things never got going.

'Talk to me, Vinnie baby,' Ari offered and he wheeled a chair over. Vince felt like he should be lying down on the sofa and pour out his soul. To Ari. That was almost like selling your soul to the devil, except Vince was sure it would be accompanied by a lot more swearing and would feel a thousand shades more wrong.

'You want to hear about my problems with Eric?' Vince asked and he winced while saying it. There was a word in there which he didn't include, but it was there nonetheless. Gay. His gay problems with Eric. He flashed back to what Eric had said the previous day. Eric was right; Vince had never considered himself bisexual despite having several one night stands with men. Meanwhile, Ari had taken a notepad from his desk and assumed a listening pose.

'You want me to call in Lloyd? He's the resident gay expert,' Ari said and he moved as if to get up. Vince quickly dismissed the idea.

'No. It's about love.'

'Ok,' Ari said hesitantly and he shifted in his chair.

'Don't get uncomfortable. Fuck, Ari. You've been together with Mrs. Ari for forever. You're a good husband. You know about love,' Vince stated and he proceeded to tell Ari about how Eric had said that Vince had a problem with loving men.

'And is that true?' Ari asked.

'I don't think I have a problem. I just don't love men,' Vince explained. Ari scribbled in his notepad. It was less mock psychologist than doodling to speed up his thinking process. Or, as Vince listened to his next question, to quell his awkwardness.

'Lloyd said he walked in on you and E kissing. So, you have no problems with _that_?'

'No,' Vince said, before adding, perhaps partly in an attempt to squeak out Ari, 'I wanted _that_ so much.'

'Let me see whether I understand the problem. Eric is in love with you, but you don't love men, though you do love fucking men? That's it?' Ari summarised. Vince realised it had been silly to think he could do or say anything to gross out Ari, since Ari had no qualms about talking dirty about sex, whether it was the heterosexual kind or some other variant. He should probably consider himself lucky that Ari had stuck to 'fucking' instead of one of the more colourful expression he undoubtedly knew.

'Well, I don't really differentiate between men and women when it comes to sex,' Vince added and Ari frowned. Vince's agent pretended to locate a passage in his notepad and drummed on it with a pencil.

'But you just said you, and I quote, _wanted that so much_,' Ari repeated and Vince felt that twinge again. Great moment to want Eric, he mocked himself.

'That's was about E. I wanted to fuck him. I have never wanted to have sex with anyone as much as I wanted to have sex with E,' Vince admitted and immediately he felt supremely embarrassed. You just don't say things like that. Especially not to Ari. Mortified, Vince stared out of the window. Why had he even come here? It was stupid to think Ari could help him, because it wasn't about sex or love or gayness or whatever. It was about an absence of love.

Ari was suspiciously silent and when Vince looked at him he saw Ari was busy doodling again. It seemed their ill advised therapy session was over. Vince thanked Ari and made for the door. He wanted to be out of there and leave his embarrassment behind.

'You ever thought you might want it that much, because you love E?' Ari suddenly said and Vince was brought to an almost comical screeching halt. He turned around to face Ari, who had wheeled the chair back to its proper place.

'Come on, I see the way you guys look at each other. You can't even take a piss without making sure E is alright and vice versa. It has always been that way. If you don't fucking love E, then I don't know jack shit.'

(***)

As Vince entered the hotel room again he was so distraught that he almost closed the door with himself still in the doorway. Eric regarded him wearily from the couch.

'People keep saying I love you,' Vince blurted out and he wanted to kick himself. It was all twinge, twinge, saying stupid stuff, twinge; it was really wearing him out.

'Well, ain't that fucking nice for you,' Eric snapped and he abruptly got up to go to the bedroom.

'No, I mean, people keep saying I love _you_,' Vince said and Eric wavered. Eventually, Eric turned around and Vince stepped closer.

'Are they right?'

Vince looked at his best friend properly. Eric's shirt clung to his chest, because even with the air conditioning on the air moved sluggishly. The grey shirt accentuated his slim frame nicely. E was sexy, but this time Vince didn't feel a twinge. He still wanted to fuck him, but there was another feeling with had heretofore been masked by Vince's lust. It was much milder, but warm. Vince caught his reflection in the mirror above the fireplace and he did look a certain way at Eric. And he did enjoy spending time with Eric much more than spending time with anyone else. He should have known from that horrible second when he thought he had thought Eric was still in the burning house. That feeling, like he couldn't breathe, meant more than friendship.

'I... Yeah. Yes.'

The moment Vince said it he felt a bright emotion. If he hadn't known better he would have thought it was pain, because it was white and searing, but he knew what it was. Eric smiled and kissed him hard.

'Let's fuck,' Eric said and he unzipped Vince's jeans, but Vince caught his hands before he could shove them down.

'No, let's make love,' Vince replied.

'You sure you don't want to do romcoms? Because I fucking swear that was spot on,' Eric quipped and Vince punished him by pushing him into the bedroom. Well, punished was perhaps not the right word. Vince took off his shirt and jeans, while Eric removed his own shirt and trousers. They laughed at the sight they presented; with only their boxers, shoes and socks on. Less than a second later they were both undressed.

'I've got, you know, lube,' Eric said in a strange, bashful tone. Vince thought it was cute. He put on a condom, while Eric rummaged in the nightstand for the lubrication. When Eric turned around Vince regretted his forwardness and thought he might have been a bit too presumptuous, but Eric didn't even blink as he squirted some lube on the condom. Then, to Vince's utter delight, Eric spread it around by massaging Vince's cock with his entire hand.

'Turn around,' Vince commanded and it was such a turn on how quickly and willingly Eric obliged. Urging himself to slow down, Vince swiped a bit of lube from the condom and gently slipped three slicked up fingers into Eric. Vince's cock throbbed furiously as Eric moaned and Vince removed his fingers and guided himself inside Eric. He gripped Eric's hips firmly and started moving in and out of him at a steady pace. Though the sex was amazing, corroborated by their grunts, they were swaying precariously.

'Your back is good?' Vince panted and Eric nodded. Swiftly, Vince pulled out of Eric and turned Eric around and forced him with his back against the wall. It was ridiculously easy for Vince to lift Eric and plunge his hard cock into him again.

'Just want to look into your eyes,' Vince offered as an explanation between thrusts.

'Two words: romantic comedy,' Eric whispered, but they were too busy fucking to laugh. Vince relished the feeling of Eric's dick against his stomach, precisely because it was Eric's. He adored the skin of Eric's hips underneath his hands. He could suck Eric's neck for ages. He adored the little moans he was coaxing out of Eric. He treasured watching Eric lick his lips in anticipation of each thrust. He was already thinking about how great it would be make Eric Mr. Vince or to become Mr. Eric himself. He loved Eric and planned to do so for a long time. Possibly for-fucking-ever.

The end.


End file.
